Previously on Nurse Jackie:
- Shut the fuck up. It's my kid. - You have a kid?
- Sweetie, I'm right here. - Can you come get me?
I don't know what she's afraid of, what she's anxious about.
Do you want me to be a doctor or a friend?
Will you be my friend?
- How's your kid? - I should have told you. I'm sorry.
I think you're a saint. Just so you know.
They're replacing me with a Pyxis.
They're gonna replace you with a fucking, bullshit, robot-pill machine?
Dr. Cooper, this is my other one, Melissa.
Do you think your sister would go out with me tonight? No way?
Whose baby is this?
- Look, look, you guys. - We see you, monkey.
Mom, Mom.
Look how high I am. I am so high.
Yes, you are, sweetie.
It's a good thing you have two, huh, Fi?
I got a bad balloon.
No, honey, it was just an accident.
No, it's not fair!
It's okay. We'll get you another one.
No, I want the same one back.
Do you want Daddy to get you another one or not?
No.
- At least Gracie's holding it together. - It's okay, Fiona.
You can have one of my balloons.
- No. - Look how great Gracie's doing.
You just never know, do you?
Okay.
There. See that?
Now we both have one.
- It's good, huh? - It's very good.
Fiona, honey, no bubbles.
Okay, you guys, let's finish up. We gotta get Mommy to work on time.
Honey, really.
I'm not going to drink that. There's spit in it.
And bacteria from the straw.
Now it's even more contaminated.
Thank you.
Well, I bet that candy over there is probably pretty toxic too.
No, it's protected by the glass.
Wow, that's a dollar, you guys.
Go.
I'll give you a dollar if you don't go to work today.
- Honey. - Come on, Gracie, that's your money.
No, baby, I gave that to you. It's yours.
I don't want you to go.
I know, I know, but it's fine. Daddy's gonna take you home.
- I'm not going. - Gracie.
All right, fine. You can stay here with Daddy.
Hey, baby, come on. What do you want?
I want the hospital to burn down.
Okay. Excuse me.
Hold on.
I'm practically rich.
Yes, you are.
- I'm not gonna go in. - Oh, no, come on, baby. You've got to.
The world's not gonna cave in every time she falls apart.
We talked about this.
I know, but I think I need to be with her.
I'm with her, okay?
We can't keep changing the rules every time.
Jackie, let me take care of her, okay? You gotta trust me.
- Really. It's okay. I got it. - Okay.
How you doing, Mr. Everett?
Oh, shit.
Mr. Everett?
Mr. Everett? Can you hear me?
Do you know where you are?
Mr. Everett, you're here at the hospital.
Don't worry. Well take care of you.
Oh, God. What?
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Can I have a stretcher, please?
Gertrude. I'll say 65.
Older. Eighty-five.
Eighty-eight. You win.
Okay. Darlene.
Darlene. Honey, her mother hated her.
I would say 30.
Unmarried, worked in human resources or retail.
No, no, Darlene's a total '60s girl-group name, so I'm going with 47.
Final answer. Forty-seven. Nailed it.
- Quentin. - Could be a wrinkled, old, apple farmer.
Or a young, untalented, artsy-fartsy type. Ninety.
Oh, he was 10.
Nice game.
- Jackie. - Oh, my God, you're working today.
Oh, my God, I am.
Gus Everett, 52. Exam Room 1.
Diabetic, frequent flyer.
He times his blood sugar so he passes out on our steps.
Undomiciled, alcoholic.
I'm gonna go change, get a finger stick. We'll take it from there.
- Seriously. - Right?
Oh, my. Gus is ripe today.
Those are the same socks I gave him last time.
Now they're all scabbed into his feet.
What'd it say?
Mr. Everett? Hi, it's me, Jackie. It looks like your blood sugar crashed.
Okay, we need to get you up and running. Do you understand?
Do you mind if we rub your head for a minute?
Zoey, come here.
You wanna run your fingers along his scalp.
- No, I don't. - Yeah, you do.
You're gonna wanna feel around for some bumps or lacerations.
- Zoey, why are you rubbing his head? - Because you told me to.
I am teaching you how to rule out a stroke...
...not how to give the man a massage.
Okay, you check his blood sugar, check for a blow to the head.
- You get a doctor to order a scan. - Got it. What about his foot?
The aroma of gangrene in the morning.
- So, children, who have we got here? - Mr. Everett.
Yes. It's all coming back to me.
Ischemic.
Vascular insufficiency. Yeah, he's not gonna be able to keep this foot.
Mr. Everett, we're gonna take you up to CT to get a look at your head.
Then when you've come round a bit more...
...we're gonna have to talk about that foot of yours.
All Saints is a hospital. We're not a shelter.
Your hair is fantastic today.
You're better than that, Mohammed.
He's losing his foot.
Big attitude coming from someone wearing panda earrings.
- I can't believe you did this. - Oh, it's nothing.
It's just a little lunch. I'm not breaking any rule, am I?
No. Wow, this is just so nice.
Nurses. Life of an on-call doctor.
I was awake once for 53 hours on call. Hospital record.
- You had any surgeries? - I had a hammertoe once.
A podiatrist corrected it.
Not an MD.
Hey, Jackie. I want you to meet someone.
Oh, hi. It's Melissa, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- You know each other? - Yeah, we treated her mother.
- How's she doing? - Good.
I don't know what would have happened if Fitch hadn't found the mass.
So grateful.
You know, it's tricky sometimes.
A mass in the...
- The bowel. - The bowel.
It's tricky. Hey, look, Melissa brought me lunch.
Oh, my goodness. That's enough for an army in there.
Attending to Trauma 1. Attending to Trauma 1.
That's you.
So terrible. I do not remember her.
She's just a nurse.
Hey, will you stick around? I mean, you gotta share this with me.
I would love to.
Pupils are fixed and unresponsive. Intubated 8.0 ET tube.
Maintaining BP. Doesn't look too good.
'82 Volvo, no air bags.
- The guy's brain dead. - Got it.
Oh, boy, he smells like weed. I hope he was toasted when this happened.
One, two, three.
Maintain oxygen and blood pressure, pending organ donation.
He's a donor?
Lvy League pothead with PETA stickers...
...and a Free Tibet T-shirt. You tell me.
Trustafarian. Trying to save the world a bong hit at a time.
Sounds like a donor to me. Where the fuck is Dr. Cooper?
- Is there an ID? - Pocket. Student ID, no license.
I'm gonna call Regional Transplant and get a harvest team in place.
We've gotta notify the family.
Well, yes, but in the meantime, let's do what he wants.
- See you. - Let's see.
Cousteau Society.
Free Tibet. This guy's a donor.
Oh, boy.
Yep, I got it. He's a donor.
Mohammed, come with me.
- You're gay. - Yes.
- I'm not. - I never said you were.
- You have gay friends? - I do.
Some of whom have children, I assume.
My friends Kevin and Kevin adopted, but that's about it.
Did they go through an adoption agency?
- A lawyer, I think. - Was it expensive?
I don't know. I can ask.
I would appreciate that.
Okay, we're done here.
Close the door on your way out.
Did you hear that?
- Have you seen Dr. Cooper? - No.
If you see him, can you tell him we have a potential donor?
Excuse me, nurse.
I have been waiting with my kids forever. I filled out this paperwork an hour ago.
- 83rd and what, Park, Madison? - Why?
Well, number one, why aren't you at Lenox Hill?
Number two, lice is not an emergency.
- Their scalps are bleeding. - Take care of this at home.
- Or call your pediatrician. - Or you could take care of it.
Listen, my pediatrician is a family friend, so if you don't mind.
Truthfully, I do mind.
Do you guys share your helmets with other kids?
Yeah.
All right, follow me.
Ivy League pothead's family's between flights at Heathrow.
They oppose donation.
Well, guy's an adult. They have no say.
- Where the fuck is Coop? - Nurse, can we move it along, please?
Careful, lady.
You floor me. You really do.
This is precisely why I bought you your own helmets.
Why on earth would you let other people wear them? Really.
I think it's nice you share.
Okay. You're gonna have to do this again tomorrow.
Can't we get it all done now? I really don't wanna touch them.
This has gotta stay on for 10 minutes. I will be right back.
Yes, where is your drugstore located?
Okay. Great.
Can I get a box of Quell or RID?
It doesn't matter, actually.
Whichever one has the word "lice" in bigger letters.
Great. Yes. Can I have half a dozen boxes sent to...
...to Kelly Oliver at 171 l2 East 83rd Street?
Yes. No, you could just leave it with the doorman.
And no bag, okay? I just wanna make sure she doesn't miss it.
Great news. We found the parents.
What? Where?
They've stepped forward to resume custody.
I'm not handing over this child to just anyone.
- It's the parents. - I understand that.
Everything checks out. They were just a little overwhelmed.
- They're young. - No excuse.
Barack Obama's mother was 18.
- His name's Dalton. - Dalton?
I want a word with them in my office.
They're installing the Pyxis tomorrow.
- Yeah. I don't wanna talk about it. - Okay.
The reason parallel universes are possible...
...is because everything's made out of atoms.
- Naturally. - Inside atoms, there are electrons.
- Of course. - You're making fun...
...but this is where your brain explodes, okay?
An electron can be here and it can also be here.
Same electron, different places, same time.
- I'm sorry. My brain didn't explode. - Look, Jack.
If an electron can be in two places, then atoms can be in two places.
And since everything is made out of atoms...
...everything can be in two places.
So the real question is, what are you and I doing over there?
So we could be having a whole thing in some parallel universe?
That's right. Except we're not keeping it secret.
Okay. My brain just popped a little bit.
So when I said our days are numbered on the cot, well, all I was saying was...
- Eddie. - All I was saying is...
...that maybe we could be more of a thing, that's all.
I could meet your kid.
We don't have to keep hiding all the time.
It'd be nice for a change, huh?
Yeah, it would.
Jackie, Mr. Everett's in the OR...
...and I feel like if we had done more than give him clean clothes...
...and a meal tray the last time, maybe he would still have his foot.
He wouldn't.
Yeah, but it was just a gross little blister when he came in before and now its like:
Well, now it's gone.
But before they cut it off, it was, you know, dead.
I just feel terrible.
Well, the last time he was here, I told you to have a doctor take a look at it.
- No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did.
The thing is, you didn't. You said:
"Homeless equals undomiciled. Greet them and street them."
Zoey, I remember everything I have ever said.
You forgot to write it down. Is there anything else?
Regional Transplant's waiting for Dr. Cooper to certify the donor.
- Is he still in Trauma? - Yep. Yes.
Have you seen Dr. Cooper?
Zoey?
Exam Room 3. The door is locked.
That is why I don't date doctors.
Can you just give me...?
Oh, that's nice.
That's nice. We got a guy in Trauma waiting on certification of brain death.
He wants nothing more than to help his fellow man.
This is not something that you can relate to.
- All fucking day, Coop. - No one told me, okay?
I mean... Look, I'll be there in a second, just...
Does the family know?
You know what?
Oh, my God, Coop.
Fucking forget it. You're useless.
Now I remember her.
Dr. Cooper certified brain death.
- When? - I don't know. Before you guys got here.
Water in ear, needle in the heel. I was here. Nothing.
But do you have a time?
No, that I do not know. I'm sure Dr. Cooper wrote it down. We good?
- Yeah. - Great. He's all yours.
It's probably just a nosebleed.
Good Lord, what are you sticking up here?
It's in a really bad state, Jacks. It's completely raw.
All right, I'll get Kevin to get a humidifier.
I got a ton of work to do.
I told Kevin I'd be home as soon as my shift was over.
Family at home, boyfriend at work, back in time to be with husband.
That's pretty impressive.
Thank you, but save this conversation for our next lunch date.
I'm just saying, I don't know how you do it.
My sister, living in Paris, married, having an affair, crippled with guilt.
- You've been very helpful. - Helpful?
You're a brilliant example of how this sort of thing can be done successfully.
- You talk to your sister about me? - I don't mention you by name, Jackie.
Only that I have a colleague who's managing to pull it off...
...and you're having fun.
Fun? This is not fun. This is fucking hard.
I was under the impression what I say to you stays with you.
Yeah. First of all, it does.
And, by the way, did I mention that it's my sister in Paris?
- That's not the point. - There is no judgment attached to "fun."
I made an observation, which I relayed to my sister, who needed a boost.
And believe me when I tell you I was not gossiping.
And, my God, I think of you as a sister.
Think again.
Come in.
Thank you, officer. You can leave us alone now.
No, I'm not going nowhere. I'm this idiot's father.
So, Joseph and Lisa.
You came back for your baby.
We're sorry. We made a mistake.
It was just for the weekend.
We hadn't gone anywhere fun in, like, months.
It's true. A year.
So you left your baby in a safe haven to have fun?
To go to Atlantic City. Can you believe it?
They don't tell me. They don't ask me to babysit.
You're not good with kids.
- It was her idea. - No, I said it was an option.
Well, I hope you had your fun, because I have some bad news.
Your baby is gone.
Gone? Gone where?
Your baby is dead.
Oh, my God.
Okay, he's not dead.
You don't get a second chance.
No. Not until you sign this, releasing All Saints Hospital...
...its employees and subsidiaries from any liability.
Okay.
Don't be stupid with him.
Being a parent is a privilege.
Abuse that privilege and I'll throw you in jail.
I'll drive them there myself.
I got him.
Thank you.
Get out.
Hey.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Hey. Hey. - Hey.
Hi, sweetie. How are you?
Listen, I had this idea.
I was thinking, what if?
What if me and you were to do something together...
...you know, just us guys?
Like, I don't know, I don't know, a cooking class or something.
Or, you know, a dance class or something.
You would?
Oh, really?
Oh, sweetie, that would be great.
I love you, Gracie. I love you so much.
Okay, baby, okay.
I love you too. Bye.